Here's the start screen. This could appropriately be called the Attract Screen of this "game".
The PS2 was the default system, but I opted to start with the PS3, since it was the first current-gen system I arrived at.
The selection menu for the PS3. Obviously, the selection is catered the kind of people who'd spend the most amount of money. The 18-34 demographic, if you will. If you won't, my point still stands.
First up: Black Ops. GaboM5 thinks this Activision people knows how to make good games.
It's nice to see someone finally take non-Target reviewers down a peg. What the fuck do they know? they haven't even played the games they're reviewing.
With the possible exception of BioShock 2, this seems pretty spot on for a "similar to" list.
It's easy to mock this sort of press release-style overview, but it's pretty damn effective, if it's the day before Christmas and something's gotta get bought.
You know what? This is surprisingly accurate. Not quite a bullseye, but close.
"Yes! My kid's a fucking nuisance, and this is the best distraction I've found to keep him from prying when mommy's drinking! A+."
With a tag line like that, you're ready for the reviewer big leagues, Alan. You sure you want to be fiction writer?
Litterally. Litterally the funnest game he's played. I just want to know what he aint' tellin'.
Uh. Okay. Okay. Sure.
Let's hope Army of Two's not a "similar title"
My phone didn't catch this, but the other "similar title" is Blur. A pretty easy list to make, really. Though I'm surprised Gran Turismo 5's not there.
Speaking of which! I guess NFS and GT5 do cater to different crowds, but how different is it from Battlefield showing up on the Black Ops page? YOUR SYSTEM IS FLAWED, TARGET. I GOT YOUR ASS.
Can't argue with that. Well, I could. Nah.
No reviews, no "similar games". Moving on.
Dead Rising's decidedly different from the game's we've looked at thus far. Let's take a look.
What have you bought him before? Your nephew sounds like a distinguished gentleman.
Eh. I don't know. This wouldn't be the list I'd make. They're all kind of open ('cept for AVP), but Assassin's Creed wouldn't be a game I'd recommend right away.
Even farther removed from the "mainstream" offerings, and the recommendations are kind of off, aren't they? Since I haven't played any of these games, I can't really be sure.
They are related they way Scribblnauts and Mario games are.
Okay, I admit. I set that last caption up. But at least it has the more creative word.
Having the first game is cheating. But yes, I'll yield. That's pretty accurate.
Ladies and gents, we have our show-stopper. Undoubtedly, the best DS game out there. You can get new Costumes and clothes!
STYLE SAVVY MORE LIKE HYPE SAVVY WHAT AN OVERHYPED PIECE OF SHIT
You know what? Spot-on. I don't want to play any of those games either.
Sytle Savvy finally has some competition.
Probably the most accurate list so far.
One review, no similar games. Now this is an indie darling. It's realistic like the game show!
I was going to continue, but I heard radio chatter and decided to book it before this became an even better story. As for the actual conclusion, I don't mind this system too much. Sure, there's lots of flaws with the system, but I doubt Target really wants to go through the trouble of actually vetting these things. Like I said earlier, if your son sent you to Target to get "The Red Dead," this'll be the place you'll want to look.
Bonus!
This is a selection of war movies and docs I found at Kmart. Extra Bonus! My dad's the dude on the right.
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